OTTAWA—Toban Morrison really wanted to have a baby.
As a child, the relationships he had with his mother, father, two younger sisters and, in particular, his grandparents gave him such comfort that he always knew he wanted to create a family of his own one day.
But at age 28 he was single, with no serious relationship on the horizon, never mind a baby.
Then his grandfather died.
The passing of the man who had taught him much about love left a huge void in Morrison's life. But it also gave him the courage and the means to fill it.
Morrison is now 31 and the biological father of a little boy born in India on July 26. He went to Mumbai, donated his sperm and paid an egg donor and a surrogate to carry his child. This makes him one of the few single men who have taken this unconventional route to parenthood.
Ethicists caution that this brand of medical tourism exploits the underprivileged women who act as surrogates. But for Morrison, it was the simplest way to start a family with a child of his own.
Morrison is a civil servant who lives in Ottawa. He has been in serious romantic relationships, and once bought an engagement ring for a girlfriend. She ended the relationship before he could propose.
All around him, friends were pairing off, settling down and having babies. He wanted to be among them. During an interview, he whipped out his iPhone and brought up photo of a mother walking down the street holding her toddler's hand. “I just thought it was so cute,” he said. He had wanted a little hand of his own to hold since his grandfather died.
That man, Lorne MacDougall, is key to Morrison's happiest childhood memories: summer vacations to Prince Edward Island, opening presents on Christmas morning, trips to a local farm to watch animals.
His grandfather's death caused Morrison to realize how much he wanted to have a child right away. He wanted to be a young father, to watch his children grow up, to make grandparents of his own parents.
“I'm not the kind of person that sits around and waits for destiny,” Morrison says.
Morrison considered adopting a baby, but abandoned that plan when he found a website that addressed surrogacy, where he learned about a man whose three biological children were born to surrogate mothers in India.
Morrison and the man connected online and discussed the benefits of the surrogacy route. Morrison learned that the man and his partner had tried to adopt in Canada before turning to a clinic in Mumbai.
Surrogacy is legal in Canada providing no money is exchanged for eggs, sperm or surrogacy services. Paying for any type of “reproductive material” can carry a fine of $500,000 and up to 10 years in prison (to date no one has been charged for breaching the Assisted Human Reproduction Act, according to Toronto fertility lawyer Nancy Lam).
However, legal fees, the surrogate's expenses, the clinical costs of in vitro fertilization and the mandatory psychological testing required in Canada tipped the scales in favour of the less expensive and far simpler option of turning to a surrogate in India.
The man, who asked that his name not be used, expresses it bluntly: “I recommend (people) go straight to India and skip the process here.”
Morrison changed his plans.
He took a $25,000 inheritance from his grandfather and $15,000 from his savings and used the money to start a family of his own.
“This was kind of like his gift.”
He paid about $5,000 to fly to India to donate sperm, $2,000 for a donated egg, $20,000 for six rounds of in vitro fertilization and $13,000 for the care of the surrogate.
Orion Preet Morrison weighed eight pounds at birth. He has black hair, black eyes and an olive complexion. Morrison thinks he sees a resemblance to him in his son.
“When I look at Orion, I just see a lot of myself in him generally but I've noticed that his face, eyes, nose, mouth and hair resemble mine when I look at my baby pictures,” Morrison says in an interview via Skype from Mumbai a week after the birth.
An astronomy buff, he named his son after Orion, the hunter constellation, which translates as “the coming light.” Preet, a Hindu name to tie the baby to his heritage, means “love.”
“I've been waiting for this for three years,” Morrison says, cradling the baby in his arms. “I feel like I've known him forever.” He looks down and grins at his son.
Morrison's parents, Lorna and Paul, travelled with him to Mumbai to help care for Orion in the early days while Morrison files the paperwork needed to bring the baby home, a process that can take three weeks.
“The first few days were rough,” Morrison admits, with Orion waking every few hours and Morrison so excited he couldn't sleep or eat at all. But the baby is eating well — formula, from a bottle — and sleeping four to six hours at a time.
“For only 9 days old, he's got so much character and strength, too. He gives me head butts,” Morrison laughs.
Surrogacy and fertility treatments are part of a growing medical tourism industry and India is cashing in. After speaking with five Indian surrogacy clinics, the Star found that single men are a very small proportion of new parents who have used their services. At Akanksha IVF Center in Gujarat, single men account for about 0.4 per cent of all clients.
At Yashoda Infertility & Healthcare Services in Mumbai, where Orion was born, Dr. Meenakshi Puranik has served three single women, more than 100 single men and about 2,100 couples since opening seven years ago — so single men account for about 4 per cent of Puranik's clientele and single women make up just 0.1 per cent.
The surrogates are all married Indian women under the age of 32 who have children and a proven record of healthy pregnancies. They earn the equivalent of about $7,500. Egg donors earn about $1,000.
The Akanksha Infertility Clinic in Gujarat serves about 130 couples each year, says Dr. Nayana Patel. Since opening in 2003, Akanksha has helped four single men become fathers. The Malpani Infertility Clinic in Mumbai has served single men from all over the world, but none from Canada. Some Indian clinics will not offer surrogacy services to single people.
Both Yashoda and Akanksha screen everyone seeking their services. Single men must be financially stable, prove the baby will have female caretakers, show evidence of a support network of family and friends and also produce a “character certificate” from the police or their workplace, says Patel.
Ethicists warn surrogacy tourism — sometimes called the “rent-a-womb” or “baby farm” industry — exploits underprivileged foreign women.
“This is not employment,” says Juliet Guichon, a bioethicist from the University of Calgary, “because no employment goes 24 hours a day for 300 days and is a form of employment people can't walk away from. It's the use of a woman's body by wealthier people.”
Put plainly, it's exploitative, she says.
“The practice in India, for example, capitalizes on the low income and the poverty of the women who are willing to trade a child for cash,” she says. “But the people who are promoting it locally in India argue that the women are able to make decisions for themselves for the good of their other children.”
It took more than a year for Morrison's mother, Lorna, to understand and come to terms with her son's decision to become a single father with the help of a surrogate.
“It's hard to believe that I have a grandchild growing at the other side of the world,” Lorna, 55, said before Orion's birth. “I'm still trying to absorb it all because it's not like a normal thing,”
She had a lot of questions: Why not adopt? Why not wait until you're in a relationship? How will a baby complicate a future relationship?
Still, she is proud of her son.
“Toban is unpredictable,” she said with a smile. “I think he's very courageous actually.”
Morrison is a funny guy with stylish greying hair who works as a communications adviser for a government agency. He is six-foot-four and shows up to an evening interview wearing basketball shorts and a blue T-shirt. He likes music. He admits he is not sporty, but loves to travel and has visited Japan, South Korea and Germany.
He insists that he doesn't have difficulty meeting women but is focused on his career, friends and family.
“I occasionally go out with friends, but I'm 31 years old now and the social thing has died down. There's a lot of pressure that's put on people to be in a relationship and I just didn't want to get into that kind of tangled lifestyle. It wasn't for me,” he explains.
“It doesn't mean that I can't and don't want to start a family.”
Morrison's journey to fatherhood began in November 2009, when he travelled to Mumbai to donate sperm and, with the help of a photo, brief bio and medical and family history, choose an Indian egg donor and a surrogate.
The first few attempts at in vitro fertilization failed. Then one pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.
Morrison had second thoughts.
In 2010, he went to India again. He donated more sperm, chose a new surrogate and a new egg donor — a pretty, calm-faced woman with features he hoped would be a good match with his own.
On the sixth attempt at in vitro, the surrogate became pregnant.
And now there is Orion.
“I just want to get home and put him in his crib in his room and get real life started,” says Morrison. He can't wait to introduce Orion to his sisters. “They're very anxious to see him and hold him.”
Read more: http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/newsfeatures/article/1038283--single-man-wanted-a-child-hired-a-s urrogate-had-a-baby
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Surrogacy/Egg Donation in the News
Single man wanted a child, hired a surrogate, had a baby
