Thanks to reproductive technologies and help from a gestational
carrier, the Affleck family of Milton which consisted of parents Trevor
and Tricia Affleck and their now five-year-old daughter Chelsey,
expanded to include little Sophie, who is now 18 months old. Guardian
photo by Mary MacKay

If people look back on their life, there are likely a few thankful moments that stand out first and foremost in their minds.

For Trevor and Tricia Affleck of Milton, one of those was the long-awaited arrival of their second daughter, Sophie, who is now 18 months old. And when Tricia remembers that birthing day, she views it from a perspective that few biological mothers get because she was standing by her husband’s side the whole time as their surrogate, or gestational carrier as they are more commonly called, gave birth to their second baby.

“We had planned that we would both cut the cord but I was jumping around the room,” Tricia says, beaming at the memory of that April 3, 2008 day. “She was just running around with her arms up screaming ‘It’s a girl! It’s a girl!’ ” laughs Trevor. It is a moment both had hoped and prayed for but in the back of their minds truly thought would never happen.

That’s because a little more than five years ago, when Tricia was pregnant with their first child, Chelsey, now 5, she developed a rare condition called placenta accreta which affects one in 5,000 women.
Women who have placenta accreta, which is an abnormally firm attachment of the placenta to the uterine wall, are at great risk of hemorrhage during its removal during childbirth. In Tricia’s case it remained undetected until after she’d given birth.

“I had to have a hysterectomy immediately after I delivered Chelsey. The doctor basically had a two-minute window to make the final decision,” she says of that surgery that basically saved her life.

The bad news was that Tricia would not be able to carry any more children. However, she still had her ovaries so the door to having another biological child was not completely closed. But this would mean she and Trevor would have to go the route of surrogacy for which they would need a surrogate mother or as it is also termed “a gestational carrier.”

“We knew we wanted at least two. That was our intention but after Chelsey was born it didn’t look like that was going to happen,” Trevor says.
“It was a difficult ordeal. There were a lot of mixed emotions at the time. We had a beautiful baby daughter but at the same time Tricia (lost her ability to carry another child).”
About a year later, Tricia started to research their options as far as adoption and surrogacy.

“(Adoption) is a great system but after looking into the time span of waiting for four or five years and all that we just didn’t know if that was what we wanted,” Trevor remembers.
Then a friend told Tricia of a local woman who was the gestational carrier for a couple. This led her to Canadian Surrogacy Options Inc., a surrogate consulting service in Toronto.

“We sat on the idea for a long time, plus we talked to a counsellor (with the agency) that deals with (surrogacy) and the surrogates as well. Surrogates have to go through a lot of processes to be accepted, one is to go through a counsellor to make sure they’re suitable to do this,” Tricia says.
Because the gestational carrier makes the choice of who she wishes to be matched with, once their profile was completed, all the Afflecks could do was wait.

They were chosen by a woman from New Brunswick who had five children of her own, who loved being pregnant and for whom being part of the surrogacy process was something she always wanted to do.

“Once you’re chosen then you start communicating of course, trying to feel each other out to say ‘here’s my wishes, here’s what I’m looking for during the nine months (and vice versa). Do we think we can make this work’,” Tricia says.

“You decide how much contact you want, during, after? What kind of relationship do you want? You come to an agreement. You iron all that out before you enter into a legal binding contract.”
The agency is paid a fee for matching the surrogate with the prospective parent(s). The surrogate receives no payment but her legal and medical costs associated with the pregnancy and also travel and accommodation costs to, in this case Toronto, for the in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedure.

“I really think it takes a special kind of person to do something like that, a unique person,” Trevor says.

“Initially, I couldn’t understand it either, somebody doing something so special but thankfully for us there are people like that out there.”

For the most part the Afflecks were on in the step-by-step planning needed for the IVF procedure to happen. “Getting it organized, unfortunately, is the tough part. You have to be ready to be your own project manager,” Tricia says. Fortunately for her, Dr. Bev Brodie, who is a fertility specialist in Stratford, had just returned to P.E.I. from California where she had been working in the field since 2004.

“Even though there was nothing wrong with my eggs I too had to go on fertility (drugs) and all that because they wanted the best chance in order for us to conceive,” Tricia says.
“So I went though all the same medication, as did our gestational carrier to get her body ready to accept (embryos). Plus I had ultrasounds alone the way that she did herself to (check the eggs’ status).”

Dr. Brodie also acted as a liaison for the Afflecks in their communications with ReproMed – The Toronto Institute for Reproductive Medicine in their lead-up to the IVF.
“We’re very fortunate to have her back here on the Island. I don’t people realize how much she is (utilized). She’s busy. She sees a lot of people,” Tricia says.

The Afflecks travelled to Toronto in May of 2007 to harvest Tricia’s eggs, which would be fertilized with Trevor’s sperm and then a few days later transferred to their gestational carrier.

Unfortunately, Tricia only produced four eggs. Out of those four eggs, two were considered very viable and one was very weak so all three were transferred.

Ten days later they were told the news. None of the three embryos transferred had resulted in a pregnancy.

“That was hard,” Trevor remembers.

“We didn’t know if we were going to proceed,” Tricia adds.

After much thought, they and their surrogate started from scratch again to prepare for the IVF. Tricia and her gestational carrier returned to Toronto in July 2007.

Things didn’t look good. Tricia had only produced three eggs this time and only one was viable enough for transfer.

“It didn’t look promising and we were ready to close the door,” she says.

“This was going to be our last time. That was our agreement,” Trevor says.

“If it worked it worked. If not we were going to move forward with our family the way it was and be happy and grateful for what we have.”

“But that one little egg was the winner,” Tricia says with a big smile.

Tests indicated that it looked like it was going to be a successful pregnancy. Still, they were on pins and needles for the first three months but as time passed after that it looked as if things were going to result in a bouncing little baby.

They were in constant contact with their gestational carrier, who kept them informed of all the little details, such as doctors appointments and other pregnancy milestones that add up to big memories for parents-to-be.

“Everything and anything she sent our way and really and truly we don’t feel like we missed out on anything,” Tricia says.

Sophie was born April 3, 2008 in New Brunswick. Proud mom and dad were, of course, there for the labour and birth.

“We were allowed into the delivery room along with her husband which was great,” Tricia says.
“We went in the morning, she was induced, we stayed with her all day and Sophie was born around 6 o’clock at night. We were standing right there next to the doctor with every push.”
“Encouraging her on. It was an amazing experience,” Trevor says.

Once Sophie was all weighed and cleaned she was placed in her parents’ arms, according to the birth plan that had been made up by their gestational carrier beforehand.

“It’s a delicate situation but it was handled very well,” Trevor says.

After cooing over her for a bit the ecstatic new parents proud handed her to their surrogate for some loving and lots of photos.

Now 18 months after that momentous day the Afflecks are still on monthly contact with the woman who volunteered to help bring their child into the world.

“We’re very happy. We’re very fortunate to have what we have, not only Sophie but Chelsey too. They both didn’t come easy but they’re here and we love them and we’ve very grateful to have what we have,” Trevor says.
Both admit that going to surrogacy route was not an easy one and although worth every penny it was an expensive process.

“This procedure is not for the faint of heart,” says Tricia.

“We had a roller coaster ride. We had a lot of dips, probably more dips than peaks until the end. But I just kept saying that ‘All I need is a little bit of hope. Just give me a little bit of hope and I can keep on going.’ ”

“And guess what Sophie’s full name is?” Trevor adds with a huge smile.

“Sophia Marjorie Hope.”

Full article: http://www.theguardian.pe.ca/index.cfm?sid=293756&sc=100