Hello,

I am Nate and this is my first post.

I thought my wife and I had a unique situation but after doing some reading on web forums maybe not. My wife turned 41 2 months ago. I will be 34 in June. She has a daughter that just turned 21 (who oddly enough is pregnant). Many years before I met my wife she had a full hysterectomy. So obviously she cannot have any more children. I have no children.

She asked me when we met almost 6 years ago if her not being able to provide me with a child was an issue. I said no. It wasn't at that time. Well 6 years later I guess the biological clock is kicking in and now I have an urge to have a child. Some might wonder if it is because her daughter is pregnanant, but actually my wife and I started discussing this over two years ago. So it isn't anything brand new I suppose.

I guess we have two options. Surrogacy and Adoption/fostering. I say adoption/fostering because here in Iowa (at least) to get an infant to straight up adopt is RARE. So you can request that you ONLY want to foster infants as I understand it. Then you hope the parent don't gain rights back. I was told that in a lot of cases they do not. But you never know.  After you foster a child for awhile you may have the option to adopt after the birth parantal rights are gone.

AS far as surrogacy goes, there is that need to further the family line, as there is no males in my family in the next generation. So that may play a part in it. Right noe surrogacy seems to be the more attacrive option as I REALLY want a child (male please Mr. Stork) that is of my family line.

So here is the issue. I have never fatheed a child. And My wife cannot carry one because of the hysterectomy years ago. So we would need a LOT of help. Someone to carry the baby and either use her egg or a donor egg. It seems very complicated to me. But maybe it isn't that rare.

I am guessing I have no infertility issues. Of course never even attempting to have a baby with anyone I don't know that.

I am looking for guidance and advice. Thank you for your time.

Nate

Ok I am not sure why the post above showed up having 1/2 of it with strikethrough  but let me try it again:

Hello,



I am Nate and this is my first post.



I thought my wife and I had a unique situation but after doing some
reading on web forums maybe not. My wife turned 41 2 months ago. I will
be 34 in June. She has a daughter that just turned 21 (who oddly enough
is pregnant). Many years before I met my wife she had a full
hysterectomy. So obviously she cannot have any more children. I have no
children.



She asked me when we met almost 6 years ago if her not being able to
provide me with a child was an issue. I said no. It wasn't at that
time. Well 6 years later I guess the biological clock is kicking in and
now I have an urge to have a child. Some might wonder if it is because
her daughter is pregnanant, but actually y wife and I started
discussing this over two years ago. So it isn't anything brand new I
suppose.






I guess we have two options. Surrogacy and Adoption/fostering. I
say adoption/fostering because here in Iowa (at least) to get an infant
to straight up adopt is RARE. So you can request that you ONLY want to
foster infants as I understand it. Then you hope the parent
don't gain rights back. I was told that in a lot of cases they do not.
But you never know.  After you foster the child for awhile you may have the chance to adopt once the birth parents rights have been  terminated.



AS far as surrogacy goes, there is that need to further the family
line, as there is no males in my family in the next generation. So that
may play a part in it. Right noe surrogacy seems to be the more
attacrive option as I REALLY want a child (male please Mr. Stork) that
is of my family line.



So here is the issue. I have never fatheed a child. And My wife cannot
carry one because of the hysterectomy years ago. So we would need a LOT
of help. Someone to carry the baby and either use her egg or a donor
egg. It seems very complicated to me. But maybe it isn't that rare.





I am guessing I have no infertility issues. Of course never even attempting to have a baby with anyone I don't know that.



I am looking for guidance and advice. Thank you for your time.



---

Nate

Hello and welcome! Thanks for sharing your personal story! As far as surrogacy, it isn't uncommon at all to have a traditional surrogate (meaning you would use her egg). I'm sure there are many on the site that could anwer in more detail any questions you might have. I just wanted to wish you and your wife the best of luck on your journey!! Keep us updated!!!

Well we are just starting down this path and so I need a lot of info. We have a long road ahead I'm sure. Anyone who has advice plase let me know what is on your mind.