And I'm back. Did you miss me?   So right now I have 2 prospective IPs. Neither of which seem totally interested. Grr. I figured this would happen though. I think "karma" is coming back to bite me in the ass for something I did in a past life. As I'm driving I hit every red light out there to... I mean EVERY red light. Stupid Karma. 

Any way, in answer to your question Nikki, I want to be a surrogate mom because of my sister. When I was 15 she found out she has a heart shaped uterus and would be unable to carry a child to term. Since then I have been with her through 2 23-week miscarriages and 1 still birth. I have seen all the pain and heart break she has gone through and I HATE to think about anybody going through that. She doesn't have a lot of money, so she can't afford the costs of IVF right now. But whenever she is I'll be hers.  I strongly believe that you don't need to have a lot of money to be good parents. I know she'll make an amazing mother, even if her uterus doesn't agree. 

Anyway, I am giving myself until February. If I don't have a good, strong prospect by then I'm pulling myself out of the game. I am done. I can't keep putting myself through this. It kills me whenever I get "The Call". I know it by the 2nd word out of the IMs mouth. You can just hear it in her voice. "We decided to not pursue  this journey with you" for some reason or another. It is like them telling you, "hey, I can't have my own kids, will you have them for me? NOT!!" If makes me feel totally rejected! After every call I am depressed and all emotional for a good month. It's just no good. 

February. 1.2 months. I can do this. I hope... I know "The Call" is coming... It always does. But, who knows? Maybe one of these 2 couples will be "the one". I can only hope...